Saturday, July 15, 2006
NAIMA
On episode 9 of America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4, Tyra said some very tough words to someone who was actually doing really good in the whole competition. She was a natural—posed and emoted well, had a certain aura of “uniqueness”. But Tyra told her that at night, thinking about the girls, she forgot someone and can’t remember who she left out—realizing afterwards that it was Naima. Because her personality just doesn’t pop. She said Naima should bring out more her personality to get noticed.
And it struck me. Somehow, it’s a fear, a real fear, that most of us don’t even recognize. To not make a mark. To be forgotten. For people not to have the slightest memory of who we were. For people not to care that they’ve forgotten us.
I watched the episodes of the show and for me Naima was the best of the pack (apparently she IS because she ended up winning the contest). But doing well in every challenge, I realized, didn’t necessarily mean that she was on top of the game. Apparently, she wasn’t one who people remembered. It’s true that she registered well on her photos and was always praised for it during judgment time, but during those in-betweens, you’re really wonder where she is or who she really is.
I often wondered about that too. I’ve kept myself always right smack in the middle—being good but not naïve, trying out new things but not a risk-taker…. It’s not the kind of personality that people would remember. I don’t know what part of me would stand out, enough for people to remember me and take notice of me.
I may be good at everything, but being a Jack (or Jane) of all trades makes me a master of none. And it’s a sad thought, really. To only be in the crowd of grays and not being able to stand out.
I may make the cut when there are others still in the running. But when there are just 2 or 3 left, what would make me the best choice? What would make me Naima… one who has transcended the dreary averageness of OK into the exhilarating and fascinating beauty of being on TOP?
tweenkies_1106 at 2:32 PM