Saturday, July 15, 2006

Blogvolution

I’ve never been one to have others read my work. I’ve always considered them as diary stuff—for my eyes only. Even if I have something to say about the world (or, at the least, my world). But lately I’ve been finding myself writing in the most public of public spaces—the world wide web—through my blogs. But there’s this kind of blog category my friend and I somewhat agree in making for ourselves. We still wanted to keep some sort of “anonymity” in the midst of publishing our thoughts on line. We publish under pseudonyms to an unknown audience. That kind as opposed to blogging about our lives on a site where our audience would most probably be friends and acquaintances and just most likely end up trying to best the latest adventure of another. I’d stick to writing as long as I get to write what I have to say without worrying if I have to talk about it with my friends outside my blogspace. It’s that I want this thing off my chest, let’s not talk about it face to face afterwards. It’s the kind of freedom and detachment the internet offers. It’s the kind that allows you to be out-in-the-open and still keep it personal and intimate.

It’s the space where I could be my real self—saying what I have to say, feeling that as soon as I press that PUBLISH button, I’ve already been heard, that I’ve already done my part. It’s where I can speak up because in the real world I am muted by my inhibitions, fears, what others might think, how others would react.

It may be a lonely world to not know where my voice was heard or if anyone cared at all. But to have let my fingers free, typing away my thoughts, letting my mind think what it has to think and my heart, feel what it has to feel, makes it the homiest place to be lonely in.

I like it the way this is. Where period means period. And I don’t get that awkward, nagging “why” questions. It just is. If there’s a follow-up, explanation or change of mind, the next blog would say it all. OR not. The audience will just have to wait.

tweenkies_1106 at 2:28 PM

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