Sunday, March 18, 2007
oh what a confusion
i was out of town this weekend with my office department (only 3 of us ) plus two officemates from another department to do a bit of planning and schedule plotting for the year. after a late Friday night watching a Korean TV series in DVD, i packed my things for the weekend, just a small backpack of essentials plus a notebook of inputs for the planning ahead. just a day or two before, i was planning on biatching my way through the meeting. i got pissed off at something in the office and was more than determined to hasten my resignation. i wanted to appear as uncaring as possible, to detach and to let them know that i had little to contribute to the group.
oh but the world has a way of making you forget.
i woke up early at around 5 a.m. for a 6a.m. meet-up with my two friends before we meet up with the bosses. i was done at around 5.30 a.m. and even had a quick pancakes-and-hot choco breakfast at mcdonalds. it was humid yesterday but i was wearing my cardigan. there were beads of sweat on my forehead and i felt even hotter with the hot choco i had in hand. our ride came at around 6.30 a.m. but, amazingly, i wasn't pissed off. despite the heat and the delay, i was off to have a good mood and a good day.
we met up with the rest of the group at around 7.15 a.m. and was off for a 1-hour and a half trip to our destination. the zigzagging road was marked with peals of laughter as we talked excitedly about the trip. we weren't talking about work but all kinds of stuff that popped inside our head. it seemed like the trip took forever but we didn't mind. we were having a good time.
we arrived at around 8 a.m. in punta de fabian, up a steep driveway to the parking lot. the resort was beautiful with a scenic view of (i believe) taal lake. we got of the pick-up truck and immediately the resort personnel were there to help us with our bags and lead us to the dining hall. we had a too early morning snack though because by 11 a.m. we were already hungry for lunch! but well, we were too excited then to say no to a tasty treat of pasta bolognese and toast (no garlic or butter though). we were led to our rooms which were, except for a faulty doorknob, was actually quite ok. there were some very important misses though: no phone lines, no cable and the bathroom can get very slippery because the part of the toilet was not elevated enought from the shower area. the doorknob, which came off when we pulled at it and then had a faulty key, was fixed immediately by the staff. if we had an emergency though, it would be hard to contact anyone in the area because we had no phone line or intercom. the resort had villas and lofts around the pool area to the back of the lot instead of a one big hotel-type kind of living quarters.
it was too humid for us to stay out so we were cooped up most of the time in our room, doing the planning. we went out for breaks (lunch, p.m. snacks and dinner) at the dining area near the pool. by the afternoon (after snacks) we found a cozy area near one of the lofts and it was already breezy by that time. it was peaceful and quiet, and if not for our silly ghost stories, we would have stayed there longer. we had dinner at around 7.30pm. a feast of grilled fish and pork and a salad of eggplant, tomatoes, onions, green mangoes and shrimp paste. YUM!
we were able to accomplish our agenda (from establishing a mission-vision for our team to settling our work plans) so we were able to just while away the rest of the night chatting, laughing and scaring each other til around 11 p.m. by the poolside. under the star-filled sky of rizal, we were able to relax and wind down before walking back to our rooms.
it was drizzling when we went out for breakfast today. it was humid but after a while the breeze came to soothe our sleep-deprived bones. a sign of a slower, quieter day.
i had my apprehensions about the weekend eversince our boss suggested of having it. because i know i had my mind set on leaving before the end of the year. i didn't want to be involved in something i may not even have to do anymore. but there i was... putting more than my 2 cents worth.
i knew from the beginning that this group is my only point of reference to work. i've had my off days with them. i guess more lately because i'm becoming more agitated about a change in my life. but lately too, more and more reasons would make it difficult for me to leave.
oh what a confusion of emotions. i don't want them to think i've deceived them into believing i am staying longer. but i didn't want to rush into saying things that are not yet even concrete. i hope that when THAT time comes, i can just ease into the changes. and that no ties will be marred by the decisions to be made.
tweenkies_1106 at 12:46 PM